Discernment

Gun's Quote:

"In everything you do consider well what you do..."

-Excerpt from The Imitation of Christ, Thomas á Kempis, Book 3, Chapter 25 (Emphasis Added)

Whenever I needed to answer the question "How" throughout the course of my life, I looked to science.

Whenever I needed to answer the question "Why" throughout the course of my life, I looked to religion.

Not once have I ever considered these two subjects at odds with one another. I firmly believe that they inform one another. (That's another post for another day...)

I see a Spiritual Director at least once a month. (For non-Catholics, this is generally a priest or Religious person who can be likened to something of a "personal trainer" or "coach" for practicing the Catholic Faith.) When the question of "Why?" started to show up after working my way through the motorcycle ANTs, it was time to bring it to Fr. Vince's attention.

Fr. Vince was my Spiritual Director for years. We had gotten to know one another well, and he was particularly good about being able to "see through my BS." If I needed a sounding board or second opinion on whether or not a decision was aligned with God's Will in my life, he was my go-to guy.

We had many discussions about my struggles with mental health, my "boredom," and what God wanted me to do about it.

There was no way God wanted me on a bike. I just knew it. Fr. Vince would show me my then-perceived "logical flaw," prove why he was right and I was wrong, and that would squish this issue for good. Then "The Bike" would go away and I could move on to "the next thing" that I should be evaluating in terms of what God wanted me to do.

"How do I discern this?" I would ask.

The response?

"Well, you have to start down the path you are discerning to see what is actually on that path. You have to inform yourself of what is involved or required and start taking the steps necessary to do it in order to evaluate whether or not God is calling you to that path." (Paraphrased)

I'm flabbergasted.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa..." I interjected. "You're basically saying that if I wanted to decide whether or not I should do drugs or have sex I should try drugs or sex, right?"

"No."

"What's the difference?"

The difference was morality. It was good and evil.

Is there anything intrinsically immoral about riding a motorcycle? No. Intrinsically evil? No. Does it break a Commandment? No. Whether you are deciding to buy a bike, ask somebody to marry you or chose a major, the process looks exactly the same: "Is this evil or wrong?" No? OK, then, you have to take the steps down the path to see what is down the path. Don't start down a path you already know is wrong or evil. No point. Not sure what it is? Go down the path and see for yourself. If it isn't for you, stop going down the path. It's that simple. (OK... we all know that it isn't THAT simple...)

Honestly, that's just common sense for life in general. Most people date for some time before they propose marriage. Most people have interviews before they get a job. Most people test drive a car before they buy a car. Nobody "knows" what they should do until they actually start taking the steps necessary to do "it," whatever "it" is. This applies to careers, cars, college and pretty much any decision we must make in life.

Why should this be any different?

The idea that God might have this in His plan was just patently absurd and ridiculous. Jesus didn't ride a bike. (Don't you love arguments like that?) Jesus didn't use material possessions in His miracles...

Oh, wait.

Jesus turned water in to wine. Jesus called Simon Peter by filling his fishing boat with so many fish it started sinking. Jesus fed 5,000 people with five loaves and two fishes. Jesus cured a blind man with mud and spit. Jesus cured a hemorrhaging woman when she touched his cloak.

"If you want to know if God wants you to do something," he concluded, "Start doing it. If it's the wrong path, you'll know. If it's the right path, you'll know. If you never go down the path, you'll never know."

I literally had a Catholic Priest tell me that I should explore getting a motorcycle. He gave me permission. He found no harm in it. There was no logical flaw. There was no evil. There was no wrong.

It was time to see just how far the rabbit hole goes. My expectation was that I would go down it, find out it wasn't God's Will or my will, turn around, and crawl out.

That led to the next question: "How?"

...and that's why it's a Gun's Quote!!