Men

Gun’s Quote-of-the-Week:

 “Anything less than a conscious commitment to the important is an unconscious commitment to the unimportant.”

-Stephen Covey

I'm going to start a new annual tradition here at the Gun's Quotes. Each year, I volunteer for a week for an organization that is near and dear to my heart: The American Legion Boys State of Missouri.

I have been asked this past week why I dedicate a week of my life, using my own vacation time at work, to volunteer to watch 1,000 17-year-old guys. While there are many reasons, I feel that a Gun's Quote that I have written in the past best summarizes my reasoning for committing to this organization which I am so proud to serve. Therefore, from here on out, it will be repeated each time I come back fromBoys State. That said, here we go:

Sorry, ladies. This week’s Gun’s Quote is not for you. I just need to take a moment to speak with my fellow brethren. Please don’t take it personally.

The world’s biggest problem right now is men. That bears repeating. The world’s biggest problem right now is men.

Look at our prisons. Their occupants are 95% male. One in 75 men in the United States is in prison. Rape, murder, drug charges and even white-collar crime are all dominated by men.

Look at our families. Of those families that are single-parent, 80% are single-mother. When one parent walks away from a relationship, four times out of five, it is dad. Men initiate more divorce than women. While our media is exceptional at getting our attention when a mother harms her children, they conveniently gloss over the fact that there are billions of dollars of unpaid child-support in the US by defaulting dads.

Look at our movies. “Hall Pass” is a comedy based upon our societal view on men, and guess what? I’m not laughing. “Oh, Gun…” you might say, “It’s just a movie and it’s just a joke.” Is that fact?

Well, let me tell you some more facts. We have a world where guys are still living at home after college, (or moving in with whomever happens to be their girlfriend at the time) where their idea of a good time is to drink themselves under the table and hook up with the pretty bimbo at the bar, where they spend their money on the latest video games and home theater systems, and, oh yeah, let’s not forget the car. There is a reason why the Farrelly brothers’ latest travesty-of-a-motion-pictu​re topped the box office the weekend it came out, and it’s because the majority of us think it’s cool.

And marriage? Why get into marriage when there are better looking girls on the internet, right? John Mayer even brags about sexually gratifying himself and how doing so is so much better because he doesn’t have to worry about the commitment of marriage, <sarcasm> BUT THAT’S OK because at least he isn’t cheating on a wife.</sarcasm> He even relegated women down to a playing with a box of crayons with each woman being a different color that he wants to use to color HIS life. Unbelievable.

Don’t take my word for it, though. After all, I’m just a prude with a draconian view on masculinity and the role of the man. Rather, look at the titles of these recently published books on “man-boys” in our day: “The End of Men,” “Are Men Necessary?” “The Decline of Males,” “The Death of Macho,” and my personal favorite, “Women will Rule the World.”

To quote one book: "We are sick of hooking up with guys… Guys talk about Star Wars like it's not a movie made for people half their age; a guy's idea of a perfect night is to hang around the PlayStation with his bandmates, or a trip to Vegas with his college friends. Guys feed you Chipotle and ride their bikes in traffic. They are more like the kids we babysat than the dads who drove us home.” If this isn’t damning, I don’t know what is.

Guys, I have no idea what it will take for me to convey to you that our world is failing because of our own selfishness, apathy and laziness. Women are hurting and our world is crumbling. We have problems from climate change to poverty to violent crime and oppressive governments all the way down to a 50% divorce rate, broken homes and families and “fatherless” children. No wonder gay “marriage” is becoming so prominent… Anything looks better than the wreck men have left families over the course of the last three or four decades. We will soon be living in the repercussions of millions of men choosing to not commit to anything but their own gratification. They’ll put it off, drag it out, or turn a blind eye because they are too busy looking out for themselves and lusting after their own personal entertainment.

Get over yourself. Your world is not a playground. It doesn’t orbit around you. It needs you. It needs you badly. Quit being a pansy and complaining about how it’s too hard or what’s in it for you or how you’d rather crack open a beer. You have a God-given duty to perform a God-given purpose in this world.

You have an obligation to serve those around you who know nothing of the luxuries that you splurge in day-in and day-out. You have the ability to serve your world, build-up your community and country, love your wife and children and make the world a better place to live. If the world's biggest problem is men, then the world's greatest hope is men.

This is why I take time out of my year to serve 1,000 of the best young men the State of Missouri has to offer. It is my observation that the inspiration that this program provides to these young men imparts upon them the obligation to make their world a better place. It is a joy and an honor to serve an organization such as this, and it is my hope that I may continue to do so for many years to come.

…and that’s why I serve.

Commitment

Gun’s Quote-of-the-Week:

“The difference between ‘involvement’ and ‘commitment’ is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was ‘involved,’ and the pig was ‘committed.’”

-Unknown

I totally won an award in a carshow this weekend.

I decided that since this was the first time that I purchased and owned a really nice car with my own money that it would be fun to take it to a car show. There is an internet forum called Acurazine that I have been a member of since I was researching an Acura to buy. Well, they had a national meet in Kansas City and I decided that I wanted to see how the Silver Bullet would do.

Of course, I would need to make her presentable. I enlisted the help of a co-worker (Thanks, Jeremy!) who rebuilds old cars as a hobby. He advised me on how to shop for the waxing kits, including clay bars, detailer, the wax (obviously) and how to apply all of these various products. Then we had the lesson on how to do the wheels and tires.

This starts Friday when Jeremy comes over to talk to me about how clay-barring works. We did that first, then used detailer to take all of the clay off. The next day, I waxed and waxed and waxed. I believe I may have damaged a nerve in my arm from all of the waxing, as the fingers in my right hand are still quite numb…

It was Sunday morning when I took the car to the actual show, but not before vacuuming her out and cleaning all of the glass. There, I did the tires and wheels. (It would have been meaningless to do that before putting her on the highway to get to the show in the first place…)

By my estimates, I spent 10 hours on the car. It was ridiculous. Then again, I wanted to have the best looking car there. Beings that I now have a plaque sitting on my desk, I suppose my goal was achieved.

Contrast this weekend with this morning. Not being satisfied with results thus far, I enlisted the help of a personal trainer to kick my butt into the shape that I’ve wanted to be in for over a year now. Last time, we talked about what my goals were and my commitment level to achieving those goals. This morning, Javier pulled up my log…

“So, I was looking at how often you come to the gym…”

Uh oh. Apparently twice a week doesn’t cut it. (Nor will it cut my gut)

In talking about what would be necessary in order for me to “look good naked,” (My primary goal… don’t judge.) I was forewarned that much more effort would be required, both in terms of attendance and in terms of diet. Based upon what exercises I am able to complete, it would seem as though decent amounts of muscle tone are there, but I need to drop 10 pounds in order to see any of it. (Body fat percentage is at 14.7%. The goal would be closer to 12%.)

He tells me that if I really commit to it, I can be toned and see awesome results in as little as two months. I’m also assured that the current course will never get me there.

Amazing, isn’t it? How is it that I can decide one weekend I’m going to win a car meet and yet in almost two years’ time I’ve not done what needs to be done to get me to look the way I want to look? Clearly, the level of commitment to one differs from the other. So, thus, do the results. My car looks better than I do. (Admittedly, both are shiny. I guess I should work on that tan, too…)

Perhaps if you want something so badly you should first evaluate the amount of effort you are going to spend to get it. It’s not enough to be involved. You have to commit.

…and that’s why it’s a Gun’s Quote!

Goodbye

Gun’s Quote-of-the-Week:

“A friend is one to whom you can pour out the contents of your heart, chaff and grain alike. Knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.”

-Unknown

When I was a senior in high school, a new priest moved into town. That summer, several volunteers and I helped him move in. This past weekend, that same priest said his last Mass in Cameron, MO, and is moving back into Kansas City, MO.

This man has had a profound impact on the community that he served for so many years. He had a profound impact on my family. There were many hard times he had counseled me through, and there were many times he did the same for my brothers.

Below was his last homily, posted on the internet for all to see. It serves as a reminder that we never know how long we will stay where we are and when we will have to say “Goodbye.” Yet, I hope it also serves as a reminder that while you are there you can touch the loves of those around you and simultaneously be touched by them, too.

Eleven years ago when Bishop Boland first listed options for my next parish assignment, he said in his Irish accent, “It may not be your cup of tea, but Cameron is open.” I said, “Well, if the people there need a pastor, I would not rule it out.” After the appointments, a priest on the personnel board said to me, “You won’t have to stay there long. If it doesn’t work out, ask for a different parish in a couple of years.” But once I moved in, I told my friends, “I’m in no hurry to leave Cameron. It’s a great place to wake up in the morning. It’s less frantic than Kansas City. People get along. They love their parish and they love their town.”

When a priest becomes a pastor, the people end up telling him what kind of priest he should be. You taught me to care about the joys and troubles in your lives, to respect the history of the places I would lead, to meet others from the community, and to support local businesses. You also challenged me to offer my best because you were no less valuable than anyone in the city or anywhere else on this planet. I leave here feeling greatly enriched by the Church and community I came to serve. Cameron and Maysville have definitely been my cup of tea.

We lived through a lot together. I started work here on July 2^nd, 2001, just a few months before the attacks of September 11^th. In 2002, my father died, in 2003 I turned 50, and in 2004 you helped me observe my silver anniversary as a priest. Many times you welcomed my mother here to celebrate her birthday together with your annual St. Patrick’s Day events. You helped me pass my milestones even as you were passing your own. I experienced the support of talented staff, councils and boards. We made it through the difficult decisions to renovate both St. Aloysius Church and St. Munchin Church. You let me go to help priests and people around the world prepare for the revised English translation of the mass, and you stayed with me here as we stepped into those new words together.

On my travels, people frequently said to me, “Be sure and thank your parishioners for letting us borrow you.” You should know this: What made those talks so effective was not my knowledge of Latin, history, grammar, or liturgy. Other people have that. What made my talks effective was that I explained many points with words like “Well, in my parish, we do this.” People knew I couldn't talk about theory without having to deal with practice. They didn’t want a university professor; they wanted a pastor. They wanted me because they respected you; they knew you were keeping me real. And you should know this too: no matter how far I went or how long I stayed, the one thing I wanted most on every trip was to get back home.

Over these years we lived through joy and sorrow, suffering and glory like any family. Even though you call me “Father”, I call you “brothers and sisters” because we have one Father, and we are all his children. Saint Paul says today, “We are children of God, and if children then heirs, heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ.” That inheritance sounds great. But then Paul throws in this reminder. We are “joint heirs with Christ, if only we suffer with him so that we may also be glorified with him.” I have inherited a lot from you - a new appreciation of community, faith and service, even at the cost of tears and struggles. But what we inherit together is something far greater - the glory that we share with Christ. I thank God for revealing the glory of Christ to me through you.



…and that’s why it’s a Gun’s Quote!