A Conversation over French Toast

Gun's Quote-of-the-Week:

“Oh, my friend, it's not what they take away from you that counts. It's what you do with what you have left.”

-Hubert H. Humphrey

Articulating the Gun's Quotes tonight is particularly difficult. There are a lot of different things swirling around my head that I don't quite know how to pen down. One has to deal with heroism. Another has to do with strength. Yet another has to do with will and resolve, and finally a fourth has to deal with support and coping.

I met Keegan for the first time at Boys State two weeks ago. We were both on staff together. For him, it was the first time back as a staff member, having been a citizen last year and a newly-minted high school graduate this time around. For me, it was my 10th year back. I always enjoy getting to meet the new guys and so we did our basic introductions and got to know one another. From the moment we first met, I knew this guy had a story to tell.

On May 21st, he graduated from EMT school. On May 22nd, he graduated from Joplin High School. 15 minutes after he left graduation, he began saving lives.

The stories can't be repeated here, both because I fear I would get something wrong and also because they are too numerous to list. The jest of it will be enough. His fellow high school graduates showing up in blood and mud. A few hours earlier, they were getting a hand shake among family applause. Now, he was mending their wounds. Then there were the bodies he uncovered. The little girl with a fence post through her arm. The man lying on the ground complaining of a headache with a metal pipe lodged through his neck and poking out the back of his head. Later Keegan would find out his best friend, Will Norton, whom I wrote about some time back, didn’t survive.

Will was memorialized at the end of the Boys State Session this year. He and Keegan went to Boys State together.

It's one of those stories that you know continues to unfold and evolve, and know that it will not end soon.

“You're kind of a hero now,” I said this morning at brunch. Keegan came up last night to watch the Royals with his cousins and paid me a visit on his way back down.

“Naw,” he said. “They just interviewed me that's all.” CNN had interviewed Keegan and several others telling their stories and accounts of the tragedy and broadcasted it to the national stage.

"Have you had time to process it yet?"

“No, haven't thought about it. Yeah, it sucks. You've lost your town, your high school, and your best friend, but you've got to get up and just move on.” Keegan knows the work is just beginning. “Just don't forget about Joplin,” he said. “In three months the media will be gone and the volunteers will disappear. We are going to need help in three months, too.”

I wonder how he carries on as he tells his tale. There is no stuttering or tearing-up. It seems as though he is telling the stories for the umpteenth time and they are a distant memory. He’s just working non-stop on debris removal and EMT duties, and has been doing so after starting right after the storm with some of the most traumatic medical emergencies that even the most seasoned veterans have ever seen. He got a break for Boys State and another this weekend, but he left by noon to get down there and tear into it again. For now, “It's just life,” as he puts it.

“What can a guy do who you just met two weeks ago?”

“Pray.”

Far removed from the devastation, his humble request seems inadequate. I don’t know what kind of man has the willpower and strength required to drive back to his hometown so mangled by the EF-5 that he gets lost because all of the road signs and local landmarks are gone. Yet, maybe such a man walked into my house this morning, ate my French Toast and went home to get back to work again.

Please join me in prayer for Joplin and support whatever relief efforts you can. This page lists a few links: http://www.joplinmo.org/tornadoinfo.cfm

…and that’s why it’s a Gun’s Quote!

It Gets Better

Gun's Quote-of-the-Week:

“Good judgment comes from experience; experience comes from bad judgment.”

-Mark Twain

I’ve been involved with the Missouri Boys State Program’s volunteer staff for 10 years. Two of those years were spent as an Assistant City Counselor, where I was on the “front lines” of working with the participants and guiding them through the program. The last eight were spent as an “Operations Liaison” between the Operations side of Boys State (Behind the scenes work, if you will) and the counseling side of Boys State. (The aforementioned guys who guide the participants through the program)

This year, we had our fair share of problems with Operations. People didn’t fill out forms correctly, a few procedures early on weren't followed, and the golf cart keys went AWOL on Sunday.

Despite the challenges, doing this for eight years demonstrated something that I haven’t ever really experienced before, at least not to the extent that I did this year. This year, I fixed the problems and handled all of the break-downs before they impacted any part of the program. Did I do this without help? Of course not. As with anything in life, you must work together as a team to accomplish a greater goal. Knowing what needed to be done, however, allowed me the flexibility to tap help when I needed it and to do what needed to be done. No panicking was involved. (Well, almost no panicking…) No climbing the chain-of-command. No looking up policies and procedures in the manual. The experience I had gained in years past really came to fruition this year. Problems and situations were put down and the program went on. Hopefully, most people didn’t even know there was a problem at all.

Contrast this with my “real” job where my experience is limited to six months and I know so little about what my boss wants that I have to bug him virtually everyday to make sure I’m doing my job right. He’s been unhappy (to put it nicely) with some of the work I’ve put out. The situation is painful to say the least and I shudder to think about the amount of time and money I have wasted (and will waste) because I simply don’t know what I don’t know.

The frustration level with knowing that you are somebody else’s burden is enormous. At times, I have wanted to give up. Yet, in this week that I volunteer to inspire and transform the lives of young people, I found that I myself walked away with a simple, friendly reminder and a bit of inspiration, too: It gets better.

There will be times when finding victories might as well be like finding a needle in a haystack. There will be times when you are criticized. There will be times of loss and frustration and struggle. When these things happen, you will look at the debris that is your life at that moment and wonder if you should keep on fighting the good fight. The answer to that question is yes. Why? Because it gets better.

Experience is not something you learn, can buy, or obtain through any other means than simply participating. It is a tool that is not manufactured or forged in even the hottest furnaces in the world. For some things in life, you simply have to tough it out by staying involved and not giving up.

So for those times when the thought of quitting creeps up on you, and those times when some challenges seem so daunting and undefeatable that you wonder if you shouldn’t just surrender, know that in the end that next battle will be a little bit easier, a little less daunting, and a little more manageable.

Know that it gets better.

…and that’s why it’s a Gun’s Quote!

Leadership

Gun's Quote-of-the-Week:

“Leadership… is helping others be the best they are capable of being.”
-Kelly King

I really wanted to come up with a good quote this week revolving around Leadership because I was going to be at Boys State this Week.

The American Legion Missouri Boys State Program has been a part of my life for 10 years. It is a civic leadership program for soon-to-be-Senior boys around the state of Missouri. (The week after is Girl’s State) Each year in June, these young men come together to create their own “State” by forming “Cities” with City Council, Mayors and yes, even firemen. Positions are elected all the way up to Governor.

The program has a deep-rooted place in my heart, having directly changed my life and its outlook. It was empowering. It was eye-opening. It was inspiring. So, every year in June, I come back to give back.

So, like I said, I wanted to come up with a good quote for leadership because I wanted to articulate why Boys State means so much to me. My perspective on leadership changed that year from someone who is in charge to someone who is in charge of empowering. It’s one thing to bark orders. It is a totally different one to enable someone else to make their own orders.

Thankfully, at our general assembly tonight, our keynote speaker gave me such a quote at the 11th hour. Dodged a bullet I guess.

I feel like I run into a lot of people who want to be “in charge.” They want to be on the top, perhaps seeking to have dominion over others. They want to give the directions and don’t want to be told what to do. In fact, and with teenagers especially, the idea of wanting a leadership role is desired from the false impression that somehow being a leader means that you don’t have a boss.

Real leadership, as our keynote speaker suggests, is putting others ahead of you. It is desiring that the people around you accelerate past you, and pushing them to be better than you and better than themselves.

So, during this week, 150+ volunteer staff members show up to do just that: push these men to be better than we are and better than they think they are. It is an honor and privilege to work with such a selfless and dedicated staff that is so eminent in each member’s respective fields. To be counted among them is a lifelong honor. I am surrounded by so many that are so much better than I, and I am tickled to death every time I get that E-Mail inviting me back; it’s almost surreal. With as talented and dedicated as the staff is, though, perhaps the most prestigious thing about the group is that the group wants the citizens to be better than they are.

So if you are ever in a situation where you are called to lead, remember your responsibility. You are not barking orders. You are making people better.

…and that’s why it’s a Gun’s Quote!

Kindness

Gun's Quote-of-the-Week:

“Be known for lifting spirits, not for dashing dreams.”
-LLIC 2006

There seems to be a real lack of kindness in the world today. Perhaps it’s just me, but it seems as though so many of the people I have come across recently are grouchy, irritable and just plain mean.

I’m sure that has a lot to do with simply where people are at right now. Many are still trying to find jobs. Ironically, many others are working long days and even longer weeks because their companies aren’t willing to hire anyone else because they are still dealing with smaller margins and lower profits. The only way some of these firms can survive is by working their employees to death and not hiring anyone else that could suck money out of the payroll account.

Even I have noticed that I have become crass. I’m not at all happy about the state of cleanliness of my house. I haven’t been home to clean it because I have worked long hours, and oh by the way my “honey-do” list has been ever-expanding since January with many of the home repairs I wanted done by now that I haven’t even started yet. It’s frustrating.

So dealing with all of the grumpiness hasn’t been fun. I just want to do my job, take care of the promises I have made and deal with my own personal junk so that my plate doesn’t get too full. Apparently I’m audacious enough to think that I should be able to do all of these things without getting yelled at.

Then, all of this stress simply melted away into nothing. Why? Because on Wednesday morning I was greeted at the gym at 5:30 (that’s AM) by three former teens in the youthgroup I mentor. They had a camera and decided to do an impromptu interview right on the spot, gym shorts, cut-offs and all. It was hilarious.

…and it made my day. To know that I was loved enough to warrant three teens showing up at the crack of dawn to do something ridiculous like that was just awesome. I couldn’t help but walk around with a smile for the rest of the day.

I don’t think it far-fetched to believe that all of us have some stress going on in life right now. I think it even less far-fetched to believe that kindness is a problem in our lives; either we aren’t happy with how someone is treating us or we, ourselves, are having issues treating others kindly. I would challenge you this week to really focus on that. Give out a compliment. Encourage. Empower. Do this even to those you really don’t care for. We are all fighting battles in life and if we try to build up instead of tear down then maybe we all can enjoy life just that much more.

…and that’s why it’s a Gun’s Quote!