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Gun’s Quote-of-the-Week:

“Remember that who you are with is always more important than where you are.”

-LLIC 2008

As we were driving along in his brand new Toyota Prius V, Ron and I were talking about the weddings that we had this summer.

There was, of course, the wedding that we were both driving to on Saturday: My friend and Ron’s cousin, Joe and his wife-to-be, Lindsey. Come July, a mutual friend, Nick and his fiancée, Rachel. August would be Chris and Alice, both friends.

Ron gets married in November.

Everytime I go to Michigan, and it seems I will be there a lot this summer, I stop to wonder if perhaps I made a small miscue by returning to Kansas. A great deal of my life lives in that state. My deepest friendships and the maturity of my faith developed there, to say nothing of the education that I received both formally and informally. The fact that all of the weddings that I have either been invited to or will be standing in all Summer in that state is perhaps that largest indicator of this.

If I lived there, of course, I would then be buying plane tickets for Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter to come back home, and let’s not forget that I have family members that get married, too.

This is not a miscue; this is a blessing. At the end of the day, I have two homes which are filled with loving and supportive friends and family. I have a job which permits me to travel enough to visit both. Yes, sacrifices must be made in order to achieve this but people are more important than places or the logistics of moving from one to the other. It is a struggle, but I would rather have the struggle of scrapping up the cash for weekend visits vs. having no one to visit at all.

The priority of friends is occasionally tough, but keep them as a priority. Your life remains rich when you invest in them, even if your bank account is broke from investing in the airlines these days, too. (Average airfare between Kansas City and Grand Rapids or Detroit? $450!) There is no excuse for allowing something which has impacted your life so greatly from dying off. Your relationships are more important than your location.

Invest.

…and that’s why it’s a Gun’s Quote!

Never Give Up

Gun’s Quote-of-the-Week:

“Never, never, never give up.”

-Winston Churchill

This weekend I was honored by being asked to deliver the keynote at my home parish’s graduation banquet. Below is (roughly) the speech that I gave to the graduates and their families in attendance:

Never give up. Never, ever, ever give up. Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, give up.

…and that’s really all I have to say to you. You see, there’s not much other advice that I could give to you. The fact of the matter is that right now I’m the only thing that stands between you and a bunch of money that these people want to give you. I understand that. Tonight is about you, not me, so I will keep this brief.

You see, there are two kinds of graduation speakers out there in the world, and in a few weeks you are going to experience one of them. The first kind of graduation speaker is the “Accomplishments” graduation speaker. This kind of speech is marked by complimenting and praising you on all of their achievements. They sound something like, “Congratulations on your graduation,” or “Great job, you made it!”

There is a problem with this kind of graduation speaker, however. You see, an accomplishment is nothing more than something you did. An achievement is something you have done. An award is something you earned. These are all past tense. The problem with your accomplishments is that they are in your past, and anybody who has ever seen an eTrade commercial knows, “past performance does not guarantee future results.”

(To audience) Does anybody else have a 401k?

All an accomplishment tells you is that you did do a good job, that you did know what you were doing, that you did get it right. Perhaps there is no better example of this than a young man I know who is roughly my age. This young man got above a 30 on his ACT. He got a large scholarship to a local university and was placed in its Honors Program. After a year of school, he decided that his major and his school weren’t for him, which is fine. I changed my major and changed my school, too. The difference, though, was that he transferred to another school and did the very same thing. After that second school, though, he never went back to college. Today, he is living in his parents’ rental property and working for them because he can’t hold his own job and can’t afford to live anywhere else. He quit. He gave up. If you were to compare myself and him side-by-side at our graduation, everyone would have said that he would have been the one who ended up with the PhD and the great job. He should have. But, he gave up.

The second kind of graduation speaker is the “advice” graduation speaker. Now, this kind of speaker feels like they have some special wisdom or knowledge to impart upon you that will make you go places in life. They tell you things like “You’ve got to study hard,” “You’ve got to work hard.” Well, that’s all well and good, but advice does you no good whatsoever unless you actually follow through with it. Working hard does you no good if you work hard and then stop. The same is true for studying hard. As a matter of fact, no advice works as long as you choose to quit it.

When you get to college and you find out that studying there is a lot harder than it was in high school, never give up.

When you find somebody that you think is really cute, never give up.

When you start going out, never give up.

When that relationship ends and you breakup, never give up.

When you land your dream job, never give up.

When you run into that special someone, never give up.

When you get married, never give up. After all, whatever it was that lead you to marriage has to stay there in order to keep the marriage working. (To audience) Parents, can I get an, “Amen?”

When you have kids that are one, three and five, never give up.

When your dream job turns into your nightmare, never give up.

When the economy tanks and you get laid off, never give up.

When your marriage is on the brink of divorce because you’ve been out of work for six months, you can’t pay the bills and the bank is threatening to take away your house and car, never give up.

When you land a job that pays 25% less than what you had before and in a field that you really don’t like, never give up.

When your kids are 14, 16 and 18 and they are just like you, never give up.

When your kids make decisions that you don’t like, never give up.

When your kids graduate from college, enter the military or the workforce, never give up.

When your kids start having your grandkids, never give up.

When your house is empty, the children are all grown and you and your spouse are going to enjoy the rest of your lives together only to be interrupted by illness, followed by suffering, pain and loss… never give up.

You see, there is no other advice that I can give you. The fact of the matter is that half of you have already forgotten my name, and the other half will forget tomorrow. The only exception is you, Tim, and the only reason why is because your family and I have known each other since, well, birth. Like I said, that’s fine, today is about you, not me. I do not mean to take away any of your accomplishments, as I am sure you have earned each one of them. I have no idea who you are and I have no idea what you want to do or what you will do in your life, but if there is any advice I can give you and anything at all that I want you to remember from this speech, remember this:

Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever…

Ever.

Give up.

…and that’s why it’s a Gun’s Quote!