Full Circle

Gun’s Quote-of-the-Week:

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

-Wayne Dyer

It was Saturday afternoon and I was running out of options. Erik was going to hang out with his girlfriend that evening. Brian was going to hang out with his. Both did invite me along to spend the evening with them, but I always feel like I’m crashing someone else’s party when I’m invited along just because I have nothing else to do. Texting other friends of mine revealed some were out of town, others were hanging out with their girlfriends and by dinner time it became apparent that I was going to be spending the evening by myself.

I actually considered doing some “work,” like balancing the checkbook, cleaning off my desk or (Gasp!) cleaning my room, but that would be lame sauce. We cleaned the house and did laundry all day long and it was time to relax. I wasn’t going to sit in front of my monitor and admire how much money I had because I wasn’t taking some hot girl out.

So I called my aunt Margaret Ann. I told her that I wasn’t going to be the only guy in the city not taking out a girl, so I asked if she would like a night out. The first place we went on our excursion (I didn’t call it a date… that would be creepy) was a local pet store. You see, earlier in the day when I recognized that I was going to have a free evening, I decided it was time for a little redecorating in the house.

For my entire college career, I had an aquarium. I loved that aquarium. Taking care of my fish was one of the things that I absolutely loved to do, and I don’t mind saying that I got pretty good at it. I learned all about the nitrogen cycle and how to treat the tank so that it stayed clean and the fish healthy. I would feed them the kind of food that made them more colorful and would watch them every night. I even had a snail. I loved that aquarium. Thus, the living room has been rearranged and a place for my 50-gallon tank (you read that right) has appeared. I’m excited.

I took Margaret Ann to a locally-owned pet store in Shawnee so that I could start pricing equipment up. 50-gallon tanks (and their accessories) aren’t cheap, so I need to budget appropriately. When we were on our way, an unexpected revelation occurred.

“Mike used to work there 40 years ago.”

“Really?” I asked. Mike was Margaret Ann’s late husband. He grew up in the Shawnee Mission area.

“Yep,” she said. “He was a junior in high school when he got that job.”

It was the same pet store. She recognized it. Who’da thunk that the family-owned pet store in Shawnee that I found on Google as the closest to my house would be the same place that uncle Mike worked so many years ago. I, of course, had no idea he ever worked for a pet store. Full circle.

We admired all the different kinds of fish. Mike had an aquarium, too, a 75-gallon tank that their family had when they lived in Plano, just outside of Dallas. Margaret Ann would correct me when I couldn’t pronounce a fish name correctly, (I think I finally figured out how to say “Cichlid.”) and remembered what kinds of fish would and wouldn’t play well with other kinds of fish. She pointed out her favorite varieties from that tank of old. When Mike passed away and they sold their house in Plano to move closer to family up here that aquarium went away, too. Early on, she gave me Mike’s old fish books because she knew I enjoyed aquariums, too.

The evening turned out awesome. It was both enjoyable and therapeutic for the both of us, having reflected on cherished memories of old and anticipation of a cool new setup in my house. Of course, the aquarium will take months to properly prepare – nitrogen cycles take time and chemistry has a way of making you adhere strictly to its rules – but I was glad I chose to go out and do something instead of cleaning my room.

At the end of the day, you choose what you are going to do with the situation you are handed. I could have gone all “Woe is me” and cleaned my room, or I could do something that I’ve always wanted to do but just continued to make excuses for. I finally decided to do it and I think that I was surprised as to how fun it was to get the ball rolling.

Look at things differently. You might be surprised as to how easy it is to make life a little brighter!

…or in this case, more colorful.

…and that’s why it’s a Gun’s Quote!

Pericles' Politics

Gun’s Quote-of-the-Week:

“Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you!”

-Pericles

This week, Sly James, the mayor of Kansas City, MO, instituted a new 9 p.m. curfew in the city after “unruly youth” have been crowding The Plaza, the local popular entertainment and shopping venue in recent weeks. Last weekend, when Mr. James went to the Plaza with his entourage to assess the situation himself, gunshots rang out between three teens in an unrelated dispute. Mr. James’ entourage covered him up in a flower bed for protection, despite the fact that he was not the target of the violence.

The police say that the curfew enforcement went well this weekend, and that no tickets were issued.

In other news, Deryl Dedmon, a 19-year-old teenager is accused of a hate crime in Jackson, MS. Mr. Dedon is accused of murdering James Craig Anderson. Mr. Anderson was black.

I enjoy the Plaza. I’m no fan of big crowds that are being annoying, rude, or otherwise getting in your way because they are too inconsiderate to allow you to enjoy yourself too, but I’m a bit weary of telling all of the teens in Kansas City that they can’t be out at night past 9 on Friday and Saturday. (Hello… football games?) Yes, I’m aware of the fact that there are exceptions to the policy, such as being with your parents, but simply because you are young doesn’t mean you are a criminal. It equally doesn’t mean that you are up to no good. I recall many a times as a youth I went to the Plaza to hang out with my friends. We caused no trouble or harm to anyone. Knowing that some of those trips may have been “illegal” under the new law seems unfair.

…and what is a hate crime anyway? Let me get this straight… person A kills person B and person A goes to jail. OK, I can wrap my head around that. Person C kills person D and person C goes to jail longer than person A because person D is black. Excuse me? Since when did we start judging the severity of murder based upon race? Isn’t murder, murder? Isn’t it a deplorable tragedy no matter who is involved? Aren’t all murders hate crimes?

I know it’s a fairly random topic… teens at the center of laws and all. Nothing occurred in my life this week that necessarily prompted it. I very well could have chosen a myriad of other topics. Yet, with these two stories both showing up in newspapers this week, I felt it an adequate time to remind people in this otherwise (relatively) dormant political time of year that your government gave you your rights… and it can remove them, too. While elections are a ways away and we will see numerous ads on the TV talking about who is right and who is wrong soon enough, don’t forget that these discussions and debates are important.

I’m all too aware of the fact that many turn a blind eye to these discussions and debates, but simply because you don’t care doesn’t mean your leaders won’t pass policy that may target you. Get involved, stay informed, and hold your leaders accountable for the policies that they see fit.

…and that’s why it’s a Gun’s Quote!

Swagger

Gun’s Quote-of-the-Week:

“That's right, I showed off my swagger and I climbed into my mom's van.”

-Grant Mayfield

The last few Gun’s Quotes about people leaving, car wrecks and working too hard all seem really serious and deep. I think it’s time for a bit of fresh air and light-heartedness.

Enter, Grant Mayfield. Grant is a member of a small group I’m in, and he’s not 16 yet. Thus, he can’t drive. Further thus, he has no set of wheels with which to show off.

Grant was at Chipotle one day when (he claims) a girl started to check him out. Grant gave his characteristic head nod to acknowledge the glance, then proceeded to really show off his attributes by crawling into his mother’s car.

No worries, Grant. I’m sure your new girlfriend was impressed with your mom’s ride.

…and that’s why it’s a Gun’s Quote!

Goodbye

Gun’s Quote-of-the-Week:

“Do not cry because it ended, but smile because it happened.”

-Theodore Geisel (Dr. Seuss) (Submitted by Tia Barraco)

It has been a tough, tough weekend.

For (almost) four years, I have volunteered for the youth ministry program known as Lifeteen at Holy Trinity Catholic Church. It is my unquestionable, unapologetic and undeniable purpose in my life. God has called me here to serve, and I do so.

I do not mention this as a bragger; I intend no self-conceit. I preface this Gun’s Quote in this manner because if you were to ask me who I am and what I do I simply couldn’t respond without describing the above. It is firmly cemented into my very soul and identity. Its removal from my life would fundamentally change who I am.

Today, the very first freshman class that I started with will be leaving Holy Trinity. Very soon, they will part from their families’ homes and go on to college, tech school or the military. One has already departed.

These were the first kids I got to know for four full years. These were the kids that shared their stories with me from the beginning of their high school careers to the end of them. There have been many different kids of struggles, pains, joys, fears, celebrations and, of course, God Moments. Some lost their faith altogether. Some found it.

Today, in my final act of ministering to them has members of our youth group, I served them dinner. They, in turn, left the rest of the group with parting words of advice and what they wish for us. Finally, to end the evening, they stooped down in great humility and washed our feet.

That was a special moment…

***

Friday night, I did, indeed, visit one of my best friends, Chris Muer, in Manhattan as I said in my last Gun’s Quote. Chris volunteered for youth ministry as well. He introduced me to his youth minister and his youth minister’s family as well as another adult volunteer. His youth minister, Rick, just started at the parish this year. Chris was there to help.

During his parting speech, Rick said that he had no idea how he would be able to do youth ministry this year without Chris. His help, wise counsel and devotion to the youth in Manhattan filled a void that Rick says would have gone empty had Chris’ arrival never materialized. Rick’s daughters – I believe the oldest was 14 – shed tears over his departure. They loved him. All of them do. I wasn’t surprised.

Chris is a great friend. His life has impacted mine. Like Lifeteen, part of my identify is shaped because of his friendship, advice, council or a swift kick in the butt, whichever I needed at the time I needed it. I minister better, know God better and live better because of him.

He went back to Michigan yesterday. Before heading north, we followed each other on the 2-hour segment of I-70 between Manhattan and Kansas City. We talked on the cell phone the entire time, trying to say everything we wanted to say before he started his new life as a seminarian. Before he took I-435 north and I took I-435 south, we both pulled over and gave each other a big hug.

That was a special moment, too.

Gun’s Quotes Facebook edition is saying goodbye, too. This is the last post that will be posted on Facebook. Next week, the Gun’s Quotes will only go out on Blogspot. I will delete the Facebook group this week.

It’s not that any of these departures or goodbyes will be permanent. Certainly Chris and I will still be able to talk, albeit much less so, and there will be Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter breaks to see teens leaving town shortly. Facebook helps a ton.

Yet, I simply cannot deny the fact that I will miss all of these people dearly. Words fail to convey how each of their stories has shaped mine. I am who I am because of them. While nobody knows what lies ahead, nothing can possibly change the important role that they have, and will, play in my life. It is with great humility I ask God to allow me to continue to play a role in theirs, knowing that role will be different now.

So, I ask God to abundantly bless all of the people who are parting ways with me. I offer this final prayer to them all: (If even slightly plagiarized…)

May the Lord protect and defend you.

May He always shield you from shame.

May you come to be a Blessed and a shining name.

May you be like John and like Mary.

May you be deserving of praise.

Strengthen them oh Lord, and keep them from the strangers’ ways.

May God Bless you and grant you long lives.

May the Lord fulfill our Parting Prayer for you.

May God make you true servants and wise.

May he give you good friends who will care for you.

May the Lord protect and defend you.

May the Lord preserve you from pain.

Favor them oh Lord, with happiness and peace.

Oh hear our Parting Prayer.

Amen.

…and that’s why it’s a Gun’s Quote!

Waiting

Gun's Quote-of-the-Week:

“Why wait?”

-Snickers Commercial

Chris Muer has been one of my best friends since my final year of college. This young man, several years my junior, still inspires me today with his words of encouragement, confidence and humor. He is a funny, goofy guy that can make me laugh like no one else can.

Chris is going to the seminary this fall to become, God willing, a Catholic Priest in six years. If you know him, you know that there are ladies all around the world who are praying that he changes his mind. Sorry ladies.

We met up this weekend for one of our last times together. He heads back to Michigan on Saturday.

Chris lived in Manhattan, KS for about a year, maybe some change. In that time we were only able to get together a handful of times. Two hours separated us, yes, but considering that we both agree our friendship is strong, it shouldn’t have stood in the way that much.

We both worked, however, and many of our weekends were spent in the office. Of course, we have separate lives. He spent time in his youth ministry at St. Isidore’s and I spent time in mine at Lifeteen. That said, we’re single, we’re not really tied down to anything, and have no children that we would have to worry about pawning off to our wives for the weekend if we wanted to get together.

It’s over now. The times we could have, and should have, hung out are now but vanished. I’m considering driving up to Manhattan this weekend for one final hurrah. It would be the first time I ever drove up to see him. See what kind of friend I am?

I have two fraternity brothers, that I know of, that live in KC. How many times have we visited each other? Once, I think. (That’s inside of four years, mind you) My grandmother lives in Leavenworth, an hour’s drive. How many times have I seen her this year? My parents? My brother Alan and his (relatively) new wife Veronica?

Hell, why did I think I needed to wait until after high school to date?

Just for kicks and giggles, let me also throw in the fact that this week our esteemed government decided to put off fixing the debt crisis to just a mere few hours before our nation defaulted for the first time… ever.

Why do we wait? Why do we put off? Are we not all aware of the fact that tomorrow is no guarantee? A million people die every week in the world. Why are we so foolish to believe that somehow one of them couldn’t be us?

So as I sit here at my computer after finally getting home at a decent time from work, I type up this late Gun’s Quote which I have – no less – been putting off since Sunday. I find the theme applicable in my life and something that needs to be addressed post-haste. It is my hope that in my realization that time waits for no one that you come to realize it yourself and commit to doing something you’ve been waiting for, too.

…and that’s why it’s a Gun’s Quote!