Cusp

Gun’s Quote-of-the-Week:

“So I told them that looking in from the outside, every team hated to play them. Everyone saw the talent they had. This was their opportunity. They were on the cusp of greatness. I just thought they needed a belief.”

-Raul Ibañez

Much of my ongoing therapy focuses on self-perception. I believe that I am a failure or otherwise incapable of doing something, so I perceive myself as that failure or inability. I really didn’t understand quite how toxic such thinking would become, especially considering that it had gone unchecked for the years that it had.

I always feel rushed so I must be slow. I always get critiqued so I must be stupid. I’ve never been trim so I must be fat. Some of them were just flat out stupid.

One of the things that I had to learn was that people didn’t view me that way from the outside. In fact, there were many people who were jealous of me, the job I had, the house I had, the friends I had or the family I had. (Sadly, I’m unaware of people who are that jealous of the car…) If others viewed me as competent in my field, as a leader in the things I do and someone who has respectable and well-thought opinions, then why don’t I feel that myself?

Was I on the cusp of greatness? There’s no way. No way I could actually be that close.

Dad and I watched Game 7 of the World Series on Wednesday. Both of us witnessed Alex Gordon on 3^rd base, leading off, waiting for a hit to run home. It wouldn’t happen. Instead, Salvador Perez would pop-up a foul ball that would eventually end up in the glove of Pablo Sandoval. The Royals lost, 3-2, in Game 7 of the World Series. It’s the slimmest of margins in baseball. Game 7, one run, and a runner on 3^rd. Anything closer is a World Championship.

The cusp of greatness.

There is only one reason in the world why I think any person should believe anything: Because it is true. Truth trumps everything. If you believe something that isn’t true, than no matter how tightly held that belief is, it is still false and you are still wrong. That, to me, is what dictates holding a belief.

I never questioned my beliefs, nor did I question that I could possibly be wrong about who I thought I was or what I was capable of doing. Like the Royals, part of me simply didn’t think I could do it, and I was genuinely shocked when others thought I could and then told me as much. When somebody finally confronted my beliefs and challenged them, I learned that I was wrong. I had to change. I couldn’t keep having these thoughts about myself if they weren’t true.

No, the Royals didn’t win the World Series, but they were dominant during the post-season. They now hold the exclusive record of number of consecutive wins in the post-season. What caused that? What could have been so different about a team that was really struggling at the All-Star Break to clinch a record that has never before been seen in the century-long history of major league baseball? What lead a team that had 17-1 Vegas odds of winning the World Series entering the post-season to be 90 feet away from it at the end? Did they suddenly get good, or did they finally accept the fact that they were good and just play like it?

Will you accept that fact that you are good, too?

…and that’s why it’s a Gun’s Quote!