Measuring Up

Gun’s Quote-of-the-Week:

“Comparison is the death of joy.”

-Mark Twain

Guys are absolutely infatuated with their penises.

From the time they are small children, small boys, in their innocence, willingly drop their pants in front of each other to see how they compare to their friends. (And to verify that their male friends have one, too.) Even though they have no idea what it is used for beyond peeing, it is always the subject of attention, curiosity and occasionally, competition. From even the youngest age, boys are comparing themselves to each other.

Actually, this really doesn’t change when we get older.

Males, regardless of age, want to know how they “measure up” to their fellow males. Locker rooms are replete with guys who are checking out the other guys. Some guys will flaunt by intentionally walking around naked. Other guys don’t go beyond changing shirts because they’re scared somebody will make fun of them. There is always a little peak here, a little shameless glance there and everybody pretends it doesn’t happen. Penis measurements occur with pubescent boys almost as often as height is measured by mothers on the home door post.

“Penis envy,” the term coined by psychologists to describe the jealousy between males over their penis sizes, heights, physiques and other “indicators” of success, is a very real, very powerful force that runs from boys through men. The comparisons are real and the competition is fierce. So are the feelings of inferiority.

Usually the subject of body image is discussed as a woman’s issue. This is simply not the case whatsoever. As boys grow up, it becomes not just penis size or physical development, but also athleticism, girlfriends, peer group, the car you drive, the college you got in to, the house you live in and how much money you make, among many, many others. The comparison game doesn’t end, it only evolves and it gets worse as you get older. A 14-year-old thinks his life is over because the guys in his gym class have a bigger penis than he does. An adult thinks his life is over when he can’t hold a job, hasn’t found a wife or otherwise can’t provide for his family in the way that he thinks he should, especially compared to his other male peers.

As awkward or shameful as it may be to throw a subject like penises in to the public forum, comparison of one’s genitalia is juvenile and of minor concern compared to the even-bigger issues of feeling like everybody else has it together and you don’t. Competition between one another isn’t necessarily a bad thing in and of itself. Indeed, it’s what drives humanity forward. We are always trying to out-smart, out-do or out-perform our fellow man, and such drive makes us reach higher and higher and progress as a species.

You can overdo it, too, though, and then the opposite happens. When you perceive failure in your competitions, self-worth suffers. If self-worth suffers long enough, no matter how good you are, smart you are, strong you are or fast you are, you’re never good enough. Such thinking, if left unchecked, results in believing it. Believing it robs you of joy. Indeed, it robs you of life.

I would ask you to take an honest, thoughtful and objective look at your life. You are not a failure. You have made mistakes, and that means nothing. Why? Because everybody else has, too. You may be jealous of something somebody else has, but have you ever considered that there is somebody right now who is jealous of you? Just like you probably haven’t shared your insecurities with others, others haven’t shared his or hers with you. You may privately feel like you will never amount to anything, but what you may be surprised to learn is that everybody else worries about that same thing, too. Like guys in the locker room, nobody will ever admit to checking another guy out, but everybody does it and nobody wants to get caught.

So quit comparing. There are people in this world who love you, need you and want you. Take refuge in the fact that your life is valuable in its own unique way and you will never measure up to everybody else in the same way that they will never measure up to you.

…and that’s why it’s a Gun’s Quote!