Mask

Gun’s Quote-of-the-Week:

“It's not through our successes that we connect to others. Wearing the mask of success keeps us separated. We connect when we share our brokenness.”

-Bob Ramos (Submitted by Lisa Blackstock)

I’m still trying to catch up on the Gun’s Quotes… I have a few others I need to post still, but this week I’m going to write about this week because my thoughts will not permit me otherwise.

This week, many of my friends and I attended the wake and funeral for one of the teens in the youth group for which we volunteer. The young man, a senior in high school, took his own life last weekend.

Some teens took it very, very hard. I met many – some for the first time – who told me that they had never known in the decade (or longer) that they knew him that he was ever sad. Others, despite being involved in the youth group, didn’t know him personally and didn’t know how to react. They didn’t know if they themselves should be sad and mourning, and they didn’t know how to deal with mutual friends that were sad and mourning. In at least one extreme case, some turned to substance abuse to cope.

The adults weren’t in much better shape. The parents of the young man volunteer for our youth ministry and have for years. We know them well, and it is tough to see them hurting so. Of course, there isn’t an adult in the church who isn’t asking the question, “Are we doing enough to prevent this,” “Should we have known,” “Were their any signs,” “Did I do anything wrong,” “Could I have done something different,” and so and so forth.

The answers to the above are yes, no, no, no, no, respectively.

Yet, I admit it is very hard not to place blame on ourselves. This community, this church – neigh, this family – is very much in pain right now. We simply do not understand why this happened, nor did anyone know that it would.

After all of this I became very much aware of just how close this community is and how fortunate I am to be in it.

The reason I can say with whole-heartedness that there is nobody here to blame is because we, as a community, don’t wear masks. We understand and realize that there is more to life than a house, a car, a job, and a dog. We are very much aware of the joys and sorrows alike that each separate soul shares. We do not bounce around the “scary” topics and just get to know people on a surface level. We get to know people’s souls. This idea, I think, it what keeps our community so close and personal, and why we are hurting so bad after this terribly unfortunate incident. We, as a community, share our hopes, fears, joys and sorrows with one another, and that helps us all connect in a way that helps to address our times of sorrow and fear in a healthy way.

I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about the importance of reporting somebody who is suicidal in this Gun’s Quote. If you hear somebody talking about thoughts of suicide, or if you know a family member or friend who is depressed, please tell someone. Talk to the person’s parents or teachers, and if their life is in immediate danger call 911. Do not be afraid of asking the question, “Are you thinking about killing yourself,” because asking the question doesn’t “make” him or her think about it. What it does is give you the answer as to whether or not you are dealing with a suicidal person.

Of course, if you aren’t sure, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 1-800-273-8255. You can call this number anytime if you or someone you know needs help.

…and that’s why it’s a Gun’s Quote!